I watched a movie today - Bride Wars, that made me realize how much I miss one of my friends. Bride Wars is about 2 girls who had been friends for over 20 years and were both engaged to be married. They'd gone for a wedding as little girls and dreamed of having their own weddings at the same location, with the same wedding planner in the month of June. Years later, they became engaged about the same time and hired the much dreamed about wedding planner for the dreamed about location and month. Unfortunately, she booked them for the same day in error and couldn't get another date at the location for three years, and so one of them needed to change her date/location for the other and they both refused to. So the friendship more or less ended but like all chick flicks (which is why I love them) the movie had a happy ending.
So back to my friend, who shall remain nameless. She and I became friends at 16 and hit it off right away. She was one of my closest friends for years - we wore each others clothes, saw each other through deaths, relationships, heartbreaks, job hunting, a marriage and divorce and everything else. Like in every relationship, we had our hiccups, but always managed to get through them. Until a few years ago, when we had a hoop that we couldn't jump through. It had to do with a mutual friend and thinking back, I realize how immature both of us were in handling the issue - but then they say that's the benefit of hind sight.
We didn't drift apart..... we just stopped talking to each other and instead told our sides of the story to everybody else, but the people that mattered - ourselves. And when we saw each other (which was inevitable since we have a lot of friends in common) we acted very civilly - talking about everything but. This was six or seven years ago and we rarely see each other any more but I really miss being friends with her.
I have no regrets about the decision I took at that time (which resulted in an incredible relationship) but I wish I had taken the steps to have a discussion with her on it, instead of waiting for her to talk to me about it. I wonder why it is that we could talk about everything else but this one thing that was so important to both of us. Unfortunately, too much water has passed under the bridge and we can never go back to being the friends that we were. And as I grow older and lose people near and dear to me, I marvel about how emotional we get about things that are worldly, when we should be concerning ourselves with the hereafter.
I hope that wherever she is, she's happy. I hope that she can find it in her heart to forgive me. And I pray that the Almighty Allah continues to guide and protect her, and grants her her heart's desires
So back to my friend, who shall remain nameless. She and I became friends at 16 and hit it off right away. She was one of my closest friends for years - we wore each others clothes, saw each other through deaths, relationships, heartbreaks, job hunting, a marriage and divorce and everything else. Like in every relationship, we had our hiccups, but always managed to get through them. Until a few years ago, when we had a hoop that we couldn't jump through. It had to do with a mutual friend and thinking back, I realize how immature both of us were in handling the issue - but then they say that's the benefit of hind sight.
We didn't drift apart..... we just stopped talking to each other and instead told our sides of the story to everybody else, but the people that mattered - ourselves. And when we saw each other (which was inevitable since we have a lot of friends in common) we acted very civilly - talking about everything but. This was six or seven years ago and we rarely see each other any more but I really miss being friends with her.
I have no regrets about the decision I took at that time (which resulted in an incredible relationship) but I wish I had taken the steps to have a discussion with her on it, instead of waiting for her to talk to me about it. I wonder why it is that we could talk about everything else but this one thing that was so important to both of us. Unfortunately, too much water has passed under the bridge and we can never go back to being the friends that we were. And as I grow older and lose people near and dear to me, I marvel about how emotional we get about things that are worldly, when we should be concerning ourselves with the hereafter.
I hope that wherever she is, she's happy. I hope that she can find it in her heart to forgive me. And I pray that the Almighty Allah continues to guide and protect her, and grants her her heart's desires
1 comment:
Time heals.
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